Introduction
If caring for orphans promises paradise, then why is adoption (tabannī) prohibited in Islam? The answer lies hidden in a controversial incident—when Prophet Muhammad’s heart turned towards Zaynab bint Jahsh, the wife of his adopted son Zayd bin Harithah. Soon after, Qur’anic verses were revealed that not only justified this marriage but also abolished the practice of adoption altogether.
This raises a fundamental question: Was this truly a divine command from Allah, or was a personal desire of the Prophet sanctified as “divine revelation”?
In Islam, kafālah—the fostering or sponsorship of orphans—is considered a noble act. But adoption in the legal sense (changing the child’s lineage, giving them inheritance rights, and calling them one’s own son or daughter) is strictly forbidden. Why did this contradiction emerge? What specific episode overturned a deeply human custom, depriving countless orphans of their full rights?
To understand this, we must return to the story of the Prophet’s adopted son—Zayd bin Harithah.
1. Zayd – The Adopted Son of the Prophet
Muhammad adopted a slave boy named Zayd bin Harithah, and according to Arab custom, declared him as his son. In society, he became widely known as “Zayd ibn Muhammad.”
This adoption carried full social and legal weight—Zayd was treated as if he were the Prophet’s biological son.
- Sahih al-Bukhari (Hadith 4782): explicitly refers to him as “Zayd bin Muhammad.”
- Tafsir Ibn Kathir (on Qur’an 33:37, 33:40):“He (the Prophet) adopted Zayd bin Harithah before Prophethood, and the people called him Zayd bin Muhammad, until Allah forbade that and revealed: ‘Muhammad is not the father of any of your men’ (Qur’an 33:40).”
- Tarikh al-Tabari (History of Prophets and Kings, vol. 6, pp. 6–7):“When Muhammad adopted Zayd, he was called ‘Zayd bin Muhammad’ by the people of Mecca.”
From all these early sources, it is clear that Muhammad formally adopted Zayd and treated him as his son. Yet, this very relationship later became the root of controversy, leading to the abolition of adoption itself within Islamic law.
2. Zaynab’s Marriage – A Forced Union
Zaynab bint Jahsh, the Prophet’s cousin, was married off to Zayd at the Prophet’s insistence. But according to early histories and tafsīrs, Zaynab herself was unwilling to accept this marriage. She made her objection clear:
“I am a woman of Quraysh, and Zayd is but a freed slave. This is not an equal match.”
This was not merely a matter of personal reluctance; it reflected the deep social hierarchy of the time. Zaynab saw the proposed union as a mismatch between noble lineage and servitude.
References
- Tafsir Ibn Kathir (on Qur’an 33:36):“The Prophet (ﷺ) asked for Zaynab bint Jahsh for Zayd bin Harithah, but she refused, saying: ‘I am of the Quraysh and he was a freed slave.’ Then Allah revealed the verse: ‘It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair’ (33:36).”
- Tarikh al-Tabari (History of Prophets and Kings, vol. 8, pp. 97–98):“The Messenger of God asked for Zaynab bint Jahsh for Zayd bin Harithah, but she refused and said: ‘I will not marry him, for I am the daughter of your aunt, and he was a slave.’ Then this verse (33:36) was revealed, and she submitted.”
From these accounts, it is evident that Zaynab resisted the marriage due to social inequality and her own personal will.
3. Al-Qurtubi’s Tafsir – Overruling Zaynab’s Will
- Tafsir al-Qurtubi (on Qur’an 33:36):“When the Prophet proposed Zaynab for Zayd, she and her brother were unwilling… Then Allah revealed: ‘It is not for a believing man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, to have any option in their affair’ (33:36). So she accepted.”
The Qur’an (33:36) itself states:
“It is not for a believing man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger decide a matter, to have any choice in their affair.”
Thus, Zaynab’s personal choice and dignity were sidelined under the weight of a Qur’anic verse that declared obedience to the Prophet as obedience to God.
Conclusion
Zaynab’s unwillingness and her family’s reservations were overridden by a divine decree. The marriage was carried out against her initial consent, setting a troubling precedent: the Prophet’s personal wishes could be elevated into “divine commands,” leaving no room for individual freedom or dissent.
4. The Prophet’s Desire for Zaynab
Classical sources recount that the Prophet one day went to Zayd’s house, and unexpectedly saw Zaynab without her veil. Struck by her beauty, he uttered the words:
سُبْحَانَ مُقَلِّبِ الْقُلُوبِ
“Glory be to the One who turns hearts.”
This incident shows that the Prophet was personally affected by attraction toward her.
References
- Tafsir al-Tabari (Jami‘ al-Bayan, on Qur’an 33:37):“The Messenger of Allah went out one day looking for Zayd. He came to his house, and behold Zaynab was standing, dressed only in her shift, and she was one of the most beautiful women of Quraysh. The Prophet looked at her, then lowered his head and said: Subhan muqallib al-qulub (Glory be to Him who turns hearts). Then Zayd understood and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, do you wish for her? I will leave her.’”
- Ibn Sa‘d, Kitab al-Tabaqat al-Kubra (vol. 8, p. 101):“The Messenger of Allah came to the house of Zayd bin Harithah, seeking him. He did not find him, but Zaynab bint Jahsh came out in a garment, her body uncovered. The Messenger of Allah saw her and turned away, saying: Subhan Allah al-‘Azim, Subhan muqallib al-qulub.”
Conclusion
This episode makes clear that the root of the controversy was not divine instruction, but the Prophet’s personal attraction. Zaynab’s dignity and social honor were again disregarded, and what began as a forced marriage turned into an even deeper conflict once the Prophet himself expressed interest in her.
5. Zayd’s Divorce and the Prophet’s Marriage
Eventually, Zayd divorced Zaynab. Reports show that he offered to step aside once he realized the Prophet’s inclination toward her.
- Tafsir al-Qurtubi (on Qur’an 33:37):“When the Prophet saw Zaynab, she was in her house, and he said: Subhan Allah al-‘Azim, Subhan muqallib al-qulub. Zayd came to know of this, so he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, if you desire her, I will divorce her.’”
According to the narration, Zayd explicitly told the Prophet:
يا رسول الله! ائذن لي أن أطلقها
“O Messenger of Allah! Permit me to divorce her.”
Although the Prophet outwardly told him: “Keep your wife and fear Allah,” the Qur’an itself acknowledges that he was concealing a personal desire.
Qur’an 33:37
“And [remember] when you said to the one upon whom Allah had bestowed favor and you had bestowed favor: ‘Keep your wife and fear Allah,’ while you concealed within yourself that which Allah was to reveal. And you feared the people, whereas Allah has more right that you fear Him. So when Zayd had no longer any need for her, We married her to you, so that there should be no difficulty for the believers concerning the wives of their adopted sons when they have divorced them. And the command of Allah must be accomplished.”
Key Points
- “You concealed within yourself…” → The Prophet’s private desire was being hidden.
- “You feared the people…” → Fear of social criticism and scandal.
- “We married her to you…” → The Qur’an directly validated the Prophet’s marriage to Zaynab.
Critical Implications
- Zaynab’s first marriage (33:36) was forced against her will.
- The Prophet’s attraction became the basis of a new revelation (33:37).
- Adoption itself was curtailed as a direct result of this event, since the marriage was justified by abolishing the status of adopted sons as “real sons.”
Conclusion:
This was not merely a private matter—it reshaped Islamic law itself. The Prophet’s personal desire was elevated into divine command, legitimizing his marriage to the former wife of his adopted son and simultaneously abolishing the institution of adoption in its true legal sense.
6. Zaynab’s Resistance – “You are like a father to me”
When Zayd divorced Zaynab and the Prophet ﷺ himself expressed the wish to marry her, Zaynab initially resisted the proposal.
Zaynab’s First Refusal
According to Tafsir al-Tabari (33:36–37):
“فلما قضى زيد منها وطرا زوجناكها، قالت زينب: ما أنا بصانعة شيئاً حتى أوامر ربي. فأنزل الله: وما كان لمؤمن ولا مؤمنة إذا قضى الله ورسوله أمراً أن يكون لهم الخيرة من أمرهم।”
“When Zayd had accomplished his purpose with her, We gave her to you in marriage. Zaynab said: ‘I will not do anything until my Lord commands me.’ Then Allah revealed: ‘It is not for a believing man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should have any choice in their affair’ (Qur’an 33:36).”
Translation:
Zaynab made it clear — she would not proceed unless Allah Himself commanded it. In other words, she was not personally willing to marry Muhammad at that stage.
“You are like a father/uncle to me” — Zaynab’s Explicit Objection
When the Prophet ﷺ personally approached her with a marriage proposal, Zaynab’s response was unequivocal:
“أنت خالي” (anta khālī)- “You are like an uncle/father to me.”
- Ibn Sa‘d, al-Tabaqat al-Kubra (Vol. 8, p. 101):جاء النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم إلى زينب بنت جحش فخطبها، فقالت: يا رسول الله إني لا أجد في نفسي شيئًا، إنك خالي.“The Prophet came to Zaynab bint Jahsh to propose to her. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I do not find it possible within myself, for you are like my uncle.’”
- Tafsir al-Tabari (Vol. 22, p. 11):وذكر أنّ النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم خطب زينب بنت جحش فقالت: إني أراك خالي، فلست أرضى بك زوجًا.“It is reported that when the Prophet proposed to Zaynab, she said: ‘I see you as my uncle, therefore I do not accept you as a husband.’”
- Ibn Kathir (on Qur’an 33:36):وروى بعضهم أنّ زينب قالت حين خطبها النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: أنت خالي، أفتنكح خاليتك؟!“Some narrated that when the Prophet proposed to Zaynab, she said: ‘You are my uncle. Would a man marry his aunt?’”
- Al-Sira al-Halabiyya (Vol. 3):لما خطبها رسول الله قالت: أنت خالي، فلا أرضى.“When the Prophet proposed marriage to her, she said: ‘You are my uncle; I will not agree.’”
Critical Analysis
These reports demonstrate that Zaynab:
- Rejected the marriage outright, on grounds of familial respect and her own personal will.
- Equated Muhammad to an uncle/father figure, making marriage with him socially and morally unacceptable to her.
- Was under ‘iddah (the waiting period after divorce), and once it ended, the Prophet ﷺ sent Zayd himself with the proposal — a painful irony, as Zayd was now required to negotiate the marriage of his own ex-wife to his former guardian.
At this point, Zaynab again refused to take immediate action, insisting:
“I will do nothing until I ask my Lord.”
In response, Qur’anic verses were revealed — most notably 33:37 (which legitimized the marriage by divine sanction) and 33:50 (granting the Prophet special marital privileges).
Thus, the Prophet’s marriage to Zaynab was not based on her consent, but on the force of a divine command which bypassed her personal objection.
7. Public Criticism and the Revelation of New Verses
After the Prophet ﷺ married Zaynab, the divorced wife of his adopted son Zayd, public criticism arose in Medina. People began questioning:
“Is an adopted son not considered a real son?”
In response, several Qur’anic verses were revealed, directly addressing the marriage and the adoption practice:
- Qur’an 33:40:“Muhammad is not the father of any man among you.”
- Qur’an 33:4–5:“Do not call your adopted sons by your own names; call them by their biological fathers’ names.”
Analysis:
These verses effectively abolished the traditional practice of adoption as it was socially understood — assigning a child the status and inheritance rights of a biological son. The purpose appears to have been to justify the Prophet’s personal marriage to Zaynab and eliminate any perceived objection related to her being the wife of an adopted son.
Historical references:
- Sahih Bukhari (2641) notes attempts to clarify the situation in response to public questioning.
- Ibn Hisham (Sirah) confirms that these verses were revealed after people raised objections regarding the marriage.
Ethical question:
This raises a profound issue: Was lineage and the sanctity of inheritance valued more than the rights and welfare of orphans? The Prophet’s personal attraction and social/political considerations directly impacted the rights of adopted children and abolished a long-standing humanitarian practice.
The outcome: adoption was completely prohibited in the sense of conferring full biological status, and the rights of adopted children were curtailed.
8. Displeasure with Guests and a New Restriction
During the wedding celebration (walima) of Zaynab, many companions attended. After eating, they continued lingering and conversing.
The Prophet ﷺ was disturbed, as he wished to spend time with his new wife. He stepped outside, hoping the guests would understand and leave. Upon returning, he found some still seated.
Revelation of the verse:
This incident prompted the revelation of Qur’an 33:53:
“O you who believe! Do not enter the houses of the Prophet except when permitted for a meal, without lingering unnecessarily. When invited, enter; and when you have eaten, disperse, and do not engage in idle talk. This burdens the Prophet, yet he is modest toward you. But Allah is not shy of the truth…”
References:
- Sahih Bukhari 4793
- Sahih Muslim 1428
- Tafsir al-Tabari, Ibn Sa‘ad, al-Tabaqat
Additional context from Hadith:
The Prophet ﷺ is described as ḥayyiyyan (shy and modest):
“The Prophet ﷺ was very shy, so he went out…” (Bukhari, Vol. 6, Book 60, Hadith 313)
Here, the word “ḥayyiyyan” (حَيِيًّا) appears, which means:
shy / modest / bashful.
The hadith further mentions that when he returned, some people were still sitting, upon which this verse was revealed.
Even when he returned, some people were still seated, prompting the verse’s instruction. This suggests that guests were likely discussing the controversial marriage, causing the Prophet discomfort.
Social and critical analysis:
- The verse was not merely about etiquette; it addressed public criticism of the Prophet’s personal life.
- In Arab society, marriage to an adopted son’s ex-wife was considered highly inappropriate.
- Qur’an 33:37 and 33:40 sought to abolish the adopted-son tradition, explicitly stating Zayd was not a biological son.
- Simultaneously, Qur’an 33:53 established hijab and privacy measures regarding the Prophet’s wives, controlling both social critique and intrusion into private life.
Conclusion:
These events indicate that several Qur’anic commands and Hadith rulings were influenced by the Prophet’s personal desires, societal pressures, and political considerations. Adoption practices and social norms were directly impacted by individual attraction and authority, rather than purely universal ethical principles.
9. Extraordinary Decision for Personal Desire – Allah and Muhammad
1. Zayd’s Name in the Qur’an
In Qur’an 33:37, the name of Zayd is explicitly mentioned. This is highly unusual because:
- The Qur’an never mentions the Prophet Muhammad’s parents (Abdullah and Amina), his first wife Khadijah, or even his closest companions (Abu Bakr, Umar, Ali, etc.) by name.
- Here, only Zayd ibn Harithah, formerly a slave and later an adopted son, is named.
This indicates that the verse addresses a personal event rather than a universal principle for “the good of the world.”
2. Reason for Naming
According to classical Tafsirs (Ibn Kathir, Al-Tabari, Al-Qurtubi):
- People objected to the Prophet ﷺ marrying the divorced wife of his adopted son.
- In Arab society, this was considered highly scandalous.
- Hence, the Qur’an explicitly named Zayd to clarify that he was only an adopted son, not a biological child.
Implication: The verse was revealed specifically to legitimize a personal situation.
3. Question: Personal Desire or Divine Decree?
If the Qur’an was indeed written in the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (Preserved Tablet) before creation, this raises critical questions:
- Did Allah preordain Zayd’s marriage to Zaynab, the subsequent divorce, and her marriage to Muhammad? (Even though Zaynab was the Prophet’s cousin and had been familiar with him from childhood, attraction reportedly arose only after her marriage to Zayd.)
- Was it part of a cosmic message that Zayd’s name would eternally appear in the Qur’an, while the Prophet’s own parents were omitted?
For critics, Qur’an 33:37 clearly appears to present Muhammad’s personal marriage as a divine mandate, rather than a universal ethical directive.
10. The Pretext of Kafalah (Care)
Islam considers caring for orphans as virtuous:
- Sahih Bukhari 6005: “Whoever cares for an orphan will be with me in Paradise.”
However, adoption (changing a child’s lineage) is prohibited because it alters the child’s identity and inheritance rights.
Critical question: If caring for an orphan is virtuous, why is recognizing them as one’s own child forbidden? Is this truly compassion, or merely a display?
The Mahram Complication
- According to Qur’an 24:31, a woman does not need to observe hijab before her mahram (close male relatives).
- An adopted child is not considered mahram, which theoretically means marriage to an adopted daughter is possible.
Ethical and social dilemma:
Even if theoretically permissible, sexual relations with a child raised since infancy would be morally unacceptable.
Implication: The prohibition on adoption serves more to protect the Prophet’s personal interests and social norms than to universally safeguard the welfare of children.
11. Critical Perspective
This entire incident reveals several significant conclusions:
1. Zaynab’s Autonomy Suppressed
- She was forced into marriage with Zayd against her personal will.
- Even after Zayd’s divorce, when she expressed her objection, her personal choice was overridden in the name of a Qur’anic verse.
2. Rights of Orphans and Adopted Children Denied
- The humane and ethical practice of adoption was abolished to legitimize the Prophet’s personal desire.
- This decision had a lasting impact on the rights of orphaned children in Arab and later Muslim society.
3. Societal Harm
- The practice of adoption continues to be considered haram in much of Muslim society.
- Millions of orphaned children are denied the opportunity for family, inheritance, and social identity.
12. Conclusion
- The personal affair between Muhammad and Zaynab resulted in the eradication of adoption practices from Islamic society.
- It serves as a clear example of one individual’s desire being transformed into a divine mandate.
Call for Reform:
- Muslim society today must re-examine these Qur’anic and Hadith narratives and open the door to humanitarian practices.
- If Muslim families adopt orphaned children, include them in inheritance and wills, then millions of orphans across 58 countries could gain life, security, and identity.
References
- Sahih Bukhari: 4782, 2641, 4793, 4795, 6005
- Sahih Muslim: 1428
- Tafsir Ibn Kathir: Surah al-Ahzab 33:36–37
- Tafsir al-Qurtubi: Surah 33:37
- Tafsir al-Tabari: vol. 22, p. 11
- Ibn Sa’ad, al-Tabaqat al-Kubra: vol. 8, p. 101
- Al-Halabiya: vol. 3
- Tarikh al-Tabari: vol. 6, 8